Contemplating Bad Karma, the Aftermath and the Not-So Logical Solution

I've been unbelievably stressed and busy and worried these past few months. That has caused me to turn into a complete and utter bitch and quite unhappy with everything and everyone ESPECIALLY myself.

I have offended people with my sarcastic jokes and comments. For example, last Friday, Hino and I went to get boiled food. They have the food out so that you can pick what you want and of course like any place in Taiwan, they have duck's blood things, blood rice things, chicken butts, chicken feet, etc etc.

Anyway, I noticed the chicken feet were de-clawed and they looked like long human fingers with only 3 attached...like alien's hands or something. So I made my hand look like one and put in Hino's face and made my fake chicken feet hand say "Hello" to Hino and then accidentally showed my cringe of disgust to the boiled food woman vendor. Hino was so embarrassed and got so pissed at me for my utter rudeness that he lectured me all the way home like a mom.

The BRUTAL truth is, I am going through delayed culture shock. Usually people here get it about 3-4 months upon living in Taiwan. I got my culture shock after living here a year and 4 months.

(Let's just note I wrote a few things that really pissed me off but I deleted it to be a civil and fair person and the point of this blog is to help me get over my anger, not worsen it. I will leave it to your imagination as to what I wrote, but I will give you a hint: selfish, ignorant drivers and the headgames professional people play are just a couple of MANY...)

So all this has caused some things to go wrong in my life recently, that I really needed to go right. I call this the effect of bad karma and now I'm trying to reverse the effect into a positive one so that I can get the two MAJOR things that could really turn my life around for the best! And not only that, but to stop being a person no one wants to be around and to be a BETTER person.

So, I've decided to go the spiritual route. I know my Christian and non-religious friends will laugh and mock me, but since I've been going to the temple (and yes, I actually DO pray at the temples) it just works for me!

So now...I am going to go to the big Taoist temple tomorrow on Jhong Ming South Road and pray and offer some kind of really good offering (well, probably 2: 1 as a thank-you and one as the offering to help me with my situations and Hino's as well as my family, friends and his)
Laugh and mock all you want, but I am actually a believer. Read back on my old blog entries(I think???) and you will see an entry about a fortune that I got at the Buddhist Temple in Amsterdam about what I interpreted it as going to Asia and Taiwan...
Not sure what higher force is at work, but whatever it does, it motivates me to work hard, to get the job done and get what I want and in a positive way. Actually, I'm not expecting Buddha or Guanyin to just hand it to me..of course not!! But maybe to help give me strength and patience or something like that so that I can use what I have to make things work for the best and in my favor.

Ok, now that I just emptied my head, I'm even more exhausted and am going to read "The Book Thief". Although, I wanted to write more and my head isn't completely empty. There are other things I want to say, but those will have to wait.