"Try to make a move just to stay in the game,

I try to stay awake and remember my name, but everybody's changing and I don't feel the same..." - Keane

My performance as a teacher is decreasing rapidly this week. It is the last week of this course and I feel like I'm digressing instead of progressing. I broke down crying in the bathroom 3 times after the teaching sessions. We're all stressed and a few of us have already had breakdowns and I've been holding it all in for three weeks and I just let it all out today in the bathroom. I kept having to go back because I didn't want my peers to see me burst out in tears...it is so uncomfortable.

I don't want to fail. I've failed enough and have made way too many mistakes and I don't want to fail this too!!!!

The heavens are sobbing with me...Heartbreak is nothing compared to failure...

Am I unfit as a teacher? I am fine with elementary students but panic with intermediate and upper-intermediate students. I am not going to give up, but I just can't stop crying!!!
I keep thinking about the lesson today and I feel worse and worse and so embrarrassed.

So I am going to bed...It is only 20:15(8:15 pm), but I am going to do my reading in bed.

The truth is, the week isn't going to get any better for me. I teach Wednesday and I don't have a clue as to what I am doing (What else is new?) and Friday I have to teach...conditionals...

I swear to effyouseekaying gawd that this is bad karma for something horrible I did because I had to teach cobnditionals in my interview for the CELTA course back in March, then I had to teach conditionals last week in intermediate and now...for my LAST class EVER I have to teach ...
CONDITIONALS!!!!!!!!! And I STILL don't know how to explain the effyouseekayers to students!!!!!!!!!!!!


I hope like hell that everyone is right and that the grammar will come to me as I keep teaching because I don't seem to be progressing in the grammar department!!!!!