Cutting the Ties That Bind

Actually, I have been thinking about this haircut that I'm going to get on Saturday and how everyone probably thinks I'm being ridiculous spending NT$800 on a haircut here (when you can get one for NT$100) not to mention the anti-frizz line they have out now that I am going to buy a couple products of. But I feel I need this.

I also have been thinking about this phenomenon(if you even call it that) of women who get their haircuts after a bad break-up, divorce or after something negative that affected their life. It seems silly and cliché to do such a thing, but there is a rhyme behind the reason, emotionally and symbolically.

Getting your haircut after something negative and significant means you are literally cutting off the negativity that held you back for whatever time. With each strand being cut away, you are closer to freedom, a chance at a positive change, a new outlook on life or maybe even a new life altogether.

You have embraced the past and now you are moving on to bigger and better and more beautiful things. That is what I am doing although on a somewhat smaller scale. Some previous negativity has creeped back into my life as well as new negativity haunting me and now it is time to cut it off to be swept away and put into the garbage can to disintegrate into the world and hopefully reincarnate into more positive energy.

I have very low self-esteem...always have and hopefully NOT always will. Even when I was 14-15 years old with a super thin body and boys crushing on me...I always felt like an ugly monster. But I wasn't! This holds true still today so I have decided to stop this nonsense!

How can others love me if I don't love myself, so I have been working on loving myself. Exercising more, reading uplifting books, remembering ALL the time everything I'm grateful for! and now starting to take care of myself better.

Ironically, when I was ten years old I hated brushing my hair. My mom would have to sit every night after my bath, spray "Johnson and Johnson's No More Tangles" into my hair and brush all the wretched tangles out while I whined and complained and constantly yelled "OW!"

18 years later, I take better care of my hair. I don't style it nice or anything, but I make sure that it is well conditioned and brushed. Although, in the heat, it is impossible with sweat, heat, and the wind from riding your scooter as mentioned before. And I need hair products that help alleviate these problems so that I can feel good about myself instead of going to work or going out with extremely hard and frizzy and UNMANAGEABLE hair...All these Taiwanese girls have beautiful shiny black hair(even in this HEAT and humidity) and then I come along looking like the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz!

In all honesty..20% of this is to be attractive to men(which is what I shouldn't do but I believe it is better to be honest) and the 80% is for ME!

My stepdad took me last June to a salon in Amsterdam where I got this amazing hair cut and color and we both got facials...Haha! It was a great transition for me and even though I won't be getting my hair colored until November(Getting it done now is ridiculous because the sun fades my hair and the water here in Taiwan adds to that not helping. )

I am starting to feel good about myself for the first time in my life and I want to achieve my other goals as well.

I need this.